wednesday : chem lessons, dinner with sistarhoodzx :)
thursday : a whole day out with that special someone (you know its you baby, HA)
friday : i hope schoolmates, we're going out together :D
saturday : DARE
sunday : 3rd service
very good, i've my whole holidays planned out.
& i've my POA to finish up. 6 whole long questions to complete.
felt accomplished ystd, done 90% of my holiday homework.
mum's back from malaysia and she's pretty _____ up. (fill in the blanks)
i don't wanna shoot everything all here, it's gonna be nasty.
but anyways, she's just damn fucked up. (i've filled it up for you)
she's getting me no way closer to home at all.
i'm starting to runaway, she's fking killing me like somewhat _____.
if she knows she's tired from the trip back, please fking go sleep.
don't just come home and start yelling at me for nothing.
you don't find it irritating, well i do.
don't assume i can be your punching bag, someone for you to vent your anger on.
because i am not. I A-M N-O-T!
well, if you know you're angry, go read your bible or something.
find some other ways to cool down.
& not using people to vent your anger on just because you need to.
also, it's not like i've not done any of my homework at all & i wanna go out
i've stayed at home and finished almost everything already.
& still, you give me shit, telling me to pack up everything
WHEN I'VE ALREADY DID. you just don't see whatever i've done.
i guess you only know how to see my flaws.
you ask me to pack those clothes that i'm not wearing anymore
what to packkkkkk~! i still wanna wear them!
i've packed my room after you left for malaysia.
you come home & in the night, you give me shit again.
saying i've not packed my room at all.
please open your eyes bigger woman.
was the room different from the way it was when you left & came home?!
WAS IT?! do you want me to take a before & after picture to prove it to you?!
you're just being super unreasonable please.
& why oh why must everything turn out this way?
i thought things was starting to get better from the beginning of the year!
jesus, it's your love i need to feel right NOW.
i need to feel that peace, i need to have that sound mind.
i wanna be able to shut up and shut the world out.
i don't wanna get angry over things like that. it's not worth it.
she's my mum too, what can i ever do to her? kill her?
i can't runaway from home. i can't do anything.
i'm terribly sick and tired of all these rubbish that i need to deal with.
i need your gentle guidence, your loving hands to hold onto me.
i need you to just tell me :"girl, everything's gonna be alright"
i need you be with me, i wanna feel your love right now.
nothing seems to be going right & i want things to turn right daddy.
turn every situation the way you want it to go, Your way daddy.
everything happens for a reason, i'm trying to see it this way.
thankyou daddy, i know you wouldn't leave me.
i know you're here with me, i just need to see it.
i know you're gonna bring me through every step of the way.
i know something good's gonna pop out soon.
i know you have everything planned out well for me.
this is just my daily bread, to feed me, to build me up.
i'm not gonna groan over this anymore.
daddy, i'm leaving this into your big big hands,
those big hands that you used to hold the world.
my problems, they are just small fry to you.
you already have a solution to every problem even before it comes to me.
i will not be afraid, i will not be dismayed.
i'm not alone, your rod and stuff they comfort me.
i cannot be defeated. i cannot be destroyed.
i am not alone, my god you're with me.
i'm standing in you, believing in you
i see the walls come tumbling down
my god, you've come before me, save and restored me.
i know my battle belongs to you :D
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