thank you vry much

every single piece of shit is my fault.
i yelled back at you its beacause you started yelling at me and calling me asshole and piece of shit.
its natural if someone yell at you and you either yell back or just shut up.
i am the kind that yells back, so i did.
and you called me asshole, piece of shit.
this is the first time, that you actually called me that.
& it was the first time that you ever pushed me just lyk that.
wtf have i done wrong, i just yelled back at you cause i was shocked right?!
what is wrong with you?!
& you said i yelled at you and both of you said i kept on screaming at yall.
i have been trying so hard to love you.
sometimes i scream is just lyk a joke & you guys take it for real.
& you scold me back. wth?
if i have hated you so much, would i even bother to give you a call when i will be late home or even ask you just to fetch me? and talk to you on the way home?
& even sharing to you my life today.
i nvr have thought that i would too.
if you want to compair, last time, i would not even give a shit damn even to talk to you.
now, i try my best to just open a conversation, so that we can just talk.
& did you even see that?
i even pray to ask jesus, why i hated you so much, i ask jesus to help me to love you.
and he did, i started to love you and what do you do?
using my past to scold me now.
you say i haven been doing the housework.
if you want to say me, lets compair again!
last time, i would not even clear my bowl to the basin,
or the most i would and just leave it there.
now, i wash the dishes, everything.
& when i did, you nvr thank me or any shit.
instead, you use my other bad habits, not clearing my cups and laeving them everywhere, to whack something at me again.
excuse me?! can you see that there is something that is at least good about me?
you will only throw shit at my face.
you have nvr in my life praise me at all.
and to think that all my friends think that you are good.
you also know that sometimes, girls will have pms.
and sometimes i can just be super pissed off and just start throwing tantrums and maybe just yell at you.
sometimes i am just playing! and you take them all for real and just start saying shit things lyk i dont give you face infront of your friends.
& thanks for the slap that you gave me right smack on my face.
wow! i tell you, it hurts alot.
and for such a long time, not counting when i am a small kiddo, you slapped me.
thank you so much.
& i really want to whack this straight to your faces.
if you dont want me so much, and you think that i am a nuisence to you,
why not in the first place dont even give birth to me?
or at least when you did, throw me in the bin or somewhat shit and just let me die?
or flush me down the toilet bowl?
then lyk that, i would not have been in this world, or i would have been someone else's child.
& i would not have given you all these problems.
& you think that i dont share things with you, and now i try as much as i can to share almost everything in my life that has happen to me
and guess what happen?!
a freaking song is more impt than me!
you would rather listen to one stupid song and not hear what i have to say.
oh! is this what a parent should do?!
you say i dont honour you, you say i dont listen to you.
do you know that sometimes, my friends ask me to hide stuff from you lyk just going somewhere without telling you, i nvr did. i called home and ask you for permission.
some ppl even laughed at me and said that at this age i still have to ask parents for permission. i did not cared and still called home.
do you even care about this little things that i do?
or do you even notice this things that i do.
all you know how to say is that i waste your precious money.
and all you know how to say is that i always scold my sister.
i know i do, but isnt that part and parcel of the sibling's life?
you tell me, which sibling do not fight at all?
its complete bulshit if siblings have nvr fight before okay.
and you say i treat her bad. okay. i know sometimes i beat her all that.
she retaliates too okay! but now i am trying my best to love her all that i could.
f i hate her, would i even bother to buy what she wants to eat so badly home for her? and buy the biggest portion for her?
she goes to dare and i am willing to bring her there and let her go home with me okay.
if it was me the last time, i would not even let her join me at dinner with my friends, or let her even go home with me. you ask her yourself. sometimes i can be real mean, but deep down inside, i really love her. just that i dont show it out. lyk what you always say. " i love you, but i dont have to show it out " i am lyk that too. your not the only one.
so please, stop thinking or doing all that stuff i have said.
you said i dont care, that is not true.
i do care, just that i dont show it out & i thought, as my parents, you guys would understand, but no, you just dont.
sometimes i even wonder to myself, am i your kid? or are you not my parents. or wonder if god has put me into the wrong family.
last time i know i use to complain that our family has vry little money, but now, i live with whatever that we have, and i also try my best to save as much as i could.
i cut down alot of buying of food or shopping.
sometimes, i still complain, but in the end, i still live with it.
you think i dont feel hurt screaming at you guys? you think i dont think that you guys feel hurt when you scold me? what do you take me for? a cold blooded shit?
so let me make all clear now, i have feelings and i feel bad too.
i pray to jesus in the night. i ask him why am i lyk that. and i ask him to help me change.
you think i dont want to change and forever be lyk that?
see! i really cared, but you just nvr have the eyes to see.