Day 16 today......I cannot believe I actually survive till this day.
So, today was crap. I'm writing it down here for you to read, because I dont wanna cry to you later on the phone and get you worried.
sigh, today was like really crap. There was so many things that I have to do. Everything was just so tiring, so rushing. Socks disappearing everywhere, like just literally disappearing right after you see it being taken off. Super irritating. Never mind, because you're just so 'freaked out' in the sense that things are starting to disappear by themselves, you realised that the sock that was missing, the parents will freaking give you hell loads of complaining problems if they find out. So...time was spent looking after the socks ALONE. Everything, I DO. Shower, please c'mon. you helped only that little. & most of the time, its just that 1 or 2 kids and you run off. Never mind.
I start my break late, definitely it should end late right? Stupid, almost got a lecture from the stupid boss that does nothing at all. Damn stupid.
& Just when I was eating, I cant even eat in peace. Have to be told to do this to do that.
Never mind. Stupid. everything is just so stupid today and I dont know why im just so insecure and sensitive today.
& Boss says that she wants to see me LIKE FOR WHAT?!?!
Idk if its gonna be a bad thing, but since today is like rubbish, i keep thinking negative.
& Plus, today, negative thoughts keep coming regarding our r/s.
I felt even more insecure. I felt so lousy about myself and I just wanted to cry so badly.
But I couldnt cry in front of anyone. So tears just kept flowing in front of my kids. Just 2 of them and somehow at that point of time, they were so sweet to keep hugging me and giving me kisses. I told myselfm staying here is only for my kids, and for nobody else anymore.
Sigh, i dont know what am i thinking.
Today is just such a bad day.
Going to jog everything out later. Argh.
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