Dear Darrel, Army day 4

So today was emotional. Kept thinking about many stuff and kept thinking about you sweety.
Tears were just held back. Somehow everything just felt so hard to go through and so tough to make do with. Like friends, when you feel so out of place and so hard to fit in.
& at work, you feel at home, but you just feel like there's something missing.

& when it comes to you babe, I feel even more out of place, like i really miss you so much, miss your hugs and the feeling of your hands. I bet you dont even know that I was tearing at the back of the phone. Sigh.

This phrase just kept ringing in my head today : 'This is where it gets hard'
I feel like it really is. Emotions are just running wild, pressure starts coming in, to a point I just scream at the top of my lungs in my head :' Jesus! if you want me to get through this, you better equip me emotionally, before I really lose it!'


SO, DARREL JUST CALLED!!! :D
& I really poured out everything. I was wrong, he knew I was crying just.
& for the first time I talked to him on the phone, I cried till I couldn't breathe properly.
But it was a good convsersation :) I felt so much better after everything :)
Hahaha, I'm still just so shocked with everything that had happened. There were changes that I noticed about Darrel and it is good, good changes :)
Praise Jesus :)

Baby, when you read this, I want you to that I LOVE YOU and thank you for the conversation just now :) hehe but i think by the time you read back, you won't remember :) So that's why I've got this blog down here, its for you! :D
Thank you for being such a comfort to be at that point of time. I feel so much better :)
Even though things are not the same as how it was 5 days ago, but like what you keep telling me 'Absence makes the love fonder' & it is already walking in that process :)
I feel like I'm loving you in a way that is so different from before. I really used to take it for granted and make things difficult for you, but now, I really treasure the time that we have and and the love that I have for you is..........indescribable :) BUT ITS GOOD :)

hehe, cant wait for the dinner! :) It's gonna be so so special and I'm gonna just keep declaring that this relationship is going to be so so so blessed and it shall overflow with goodness and favour that comes from the Lord, the centre of our relationship :)

So what I've learnt today, is that we both still need the hard way to learn things but it gets through us. The times before you went in army was the times when we just say that Jesus is in our r/s but yet we only put him in likw 60%? So now, its when we learn that it has to be 101% to make this r/s go higher and go brighter :)

hahaha, i cant make sense of what I'm saying now but I know someday, it'll be pieced together to show a glorious picture :)

Love you baby boy! Have a blessed night of restful sleep and tmr will be a better day that you can never explain. You shall see the favour and goodness thar your sir has shown you today and it shall be better too :) Amen!

See you real soon baby! 14 more days when the clock strikes 12! And its just 6 more days till our 35 month and one more month and 6 more days till we hit our 3rd year together! Best of all, it falls on a SATURDAY! WHICH MEANS YOU ARE BOOKING OUT! :):):):) See my joy! Hahahaha! LOVE YOU! BIG HUGS! :D